The Art of Loving Yourself: A Valentine’s Day for Me

Valentine’s Day has always been painted as a celebration of romantic love—roses, candlelit dinners, and handwritten notes. But this year, as I find myself newly single after 13 years, I’m redefining what love looks like. This February 14th isn’t about Galentine’s brunches or anti-Valentine’s rants; it’s about something deeper, more enduring: self-love.

When my relationship ended, there wasn’t bitterness or drama—we parted on good terms. But stepping into life solo again after over a decade felt like learning to walk in new shoes. The silence in my apartment wasn’t just quiet; it was a strange, unfamiliar companion. At first, it felt overwhelming, but slowly, it became a space for rediscovery.

Self-love isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a practice. It’s about acknowledging your worth, embracing your quirks, and finding joy in your own company. I’m starting small—lighting my new favourite Lumira Solar Neroli candle at night, watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Clueless on repeat, and learning to cook meals I used to rely on someone else for.

I glide on the latest (and my new favourite) Glossier Balm Dotcom in Black Cherry and spritz their You Rêve Eau de Parfum, a scent that feels like a dreamy hug. In a bath, I unwind with the KORA Organics by Miranda Kerr Berry Bright Vitamin C Eye Cream (make sure you check out Sigourney’s interview with Miranda), letting it brighten both my skin and mood.

I’ll slather myself in Dermalogica’s decadent new Multivitamin Power Recovery Cream, and I’ll nourish myself from within with my must-have JSHealth Deep Sleep + Formula, a little evening ritual that feels like a daily reminder to care for my body. These small acts aren’t about vanity; they’re about cherishing myself, treating my body and mind with the kindness I often reserved for others.

This Valentine’s Day will be an opportunity to celebrate that journey. Instead of waiting for someone else to buy me flowers, I’ll pick out a bouquet of vibrant blooms that make me smile. I’ll try a new recipe—probably mess it up a little—but pour a glass of wine and laugh at myself in the process. I’ll treat my skin to a session with my Qure LED Mask, basking in its glow as a reminder of how far I’ve come.

I’ll unbox my Alaïa Le Coeur leather shoulder bag and dress up in my new SKIMS Long Slip in Bubblegum and style my hair with the Dyson Airwrap i.d (the red velvet and gold colourway is not something to sleep on) —not for anyone else, but for the woman in the mirror who’s navigating this new chapter with courage.

I’ve also discovered something unexpectedly comforting—how a simple fairytale, told aloud (by Lex, my AI assistant), can help me drift into sleep. There’s something soothing about being read to, like a reminder that I can still find magic and gentleness in the quiet moments of my day.

Self-love isn’t just about indulgence. It’s also about facing the tough stuff—setting boundaries, forgiving myself for past mistakes, and learning to sit with discomfort without judgment. There will be nights when loneliness creeps in, and instead of pushing it away, I’ll let myself feel it. I’ll record voice notes, I’ll cry, and I’ll remind myself that healing isn’t linear. And through it all, I’m grateful to have my wonderful psychologist (and friends) guiding me through the process, helping me navigate the complexities of this new chapter with compassion and clarity.

One thing my therapist suggested I do is create a “hero file” a little digital (or analogue!) folder of all the nice things I’ve ever seen about myself: positive emails from co-workers or employees, notes, birthday cards (take a photo of them so if you lose them it’s okay!), feedback on DM or social media or even a journal entry where I felt good and on top of the world. THIS is where you go when you feel low.

Through this, I’ve discovered that the most important relationship I’ll ever have is the one with myself. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you don’t need others; it means you’re whole on your own. It’s a foundation for healthier, more fulfilling connections—romantic or otherwise—because you’re not seeking someone to complete you, but to complement the love you already have within.

So this year, I’ll be celebrating that love. I’ll reflect on the resilience that carried me through the relationship breakdown, the growth that came from solitude, and the joy of being comfortable in my own skin.

Whether you’re single, coupled, or somewhere in between, I hope you find a moment to appreciate the person who’s been with you through it all—yourself.

Because at the end of the day, the greatest love story you’ll ever write is the one where you are both the author and the muse.

Written by Jayde Balderston