Hairstyles Have Been The Diary Of My Life. Probably Yours Too.

Less hard in the ’90s than it is today, though. I didn’t have to worry about being bullied mercilessly online (any crapness was between 9am and 3pm). I instead worried desperately about being Buffy (or, Sarah Michelle Gellar). Now, although surprising given the incredible likeness in this image, SMG I was not. I’d had a few years of hard adjustment. We’d moved interstate and I went from having friends to feeling alone, different and picked on. Then, in the later years of highschool, everything picked up. I had a group of mates again and teen shows and movies were having their moment. Mentally emulating these protagonist cool girls had me wholly invested in the ‘makeover montage’. How did I do this? Got some layers, chucked in two clips and legit thought I was the teenage dream. I’ve since buried this ego to approx. the burning centre of the Earth. But, for that moment, this kid got her confidence back.

I first coloured my hair dark in Grade 11 because Miranda Kerr was brunette. As mentioned previously, I had enormous blind (deluded) faith in the transforming magic of hair to undo all and any genetic aesthetic predispositions. Years after this though, darker hair was my go-to when a bit low. I’d be told by (only) drunk people that I looked like Katy Perry because, brown hair. That was great. What was less great was that at the same time I realised 1) I can’t back up two nights out in a row, and 2) I was in a room full of old friends and felt very alone. They were great people individually, but we were mean to each other, unsupportive and toxic. I went dark because I was sad. We had been friends for the better part of six years yet I couldn’t connect. An argument about a bra broke out (not kidding. And worst still, not surprising) and rather than going deep in the drama, I smoke-bombed out with (…mostly) silence instead of retaliation. It wasn’t a high road, I was just very very tired. It was my one real friend breakup and let me tell you, it was worse than any boyfriend breakup. I was Katy Perry when she got that text. Not really, because that was a super serious divorce. But, it felt like it was. And this photo, this hair, says it all.

I was bridesmaid at my best friend since grade 4’s wedding. This marks one of the happiest times of life. I’ve established that dark equals cracking the sads (I still say this, yes) – with the exception of my own wedding. I went dark because ‘ethereal’ etcetera, and husband would clearly be wowed… only, poor guy was hit with a chest infection and wouldn’t have known if he’d married Clive Palmer for all the meds, but I digress. Going red, on the other hand, was about happiness. At the time, I was the girlfriend of said future husband, and was simultaneously witness to my bud’s life transforming, setting up for a wonderful future. It was a great time. I loved having red hair, it suited my whitey-white-white skin, it looked shiny and life was good. When you go red, it’s not to hide away. So I s’pose you could say I was feeling a bit proud of life and I suspect that’s when one sets their hair alight. Figuratively. Maybe we’d be having a different discussion if literal.

I paid $700 for extensions so I could avoid hair sticking to a sweaty neck during labour. I know, sexy. My hair wouldn’t grow and, being blonde, it was super dry and breaking off. My great pal, Erin, manages Portfolio Hair in Sydney and asked if I’d be a hair model for extensions. I was borderline phobic about having my shortish hair not make it up into a ponytail or top knot when the child made its gross arrival (I really do love him with all my cells. But birth, not pretty). I’m guessing no one has ever had extension for this reason… I also knew I’d look like Charlize Theron in Monster once baby arrived so thought longer hair might hide that fact. I’ll never get extensions again (they did a brilliant job, but the upkeep isn’t for me), so this will forever be the hairstyle that marks the very unique life change of having your first kid. I eventually took them out, went pink (read about that here) and cut it all off (main pic).